


one more drive

by miraclegarden



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Drabble, Falling Out of Love, M/M, One Shot, Sad Ending, Sorry.., the writer went through some shi and is projecting it in a fic as a coping mechanism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 08:36:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20832536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miraclegarden/pseuds/miraclegarden
Summary: “Hyuck, you will forever be my friend right?”“No… for now I don’t think so…”





	one more drive

**Author's Note:**

> this drabble was written in between state of awake and not, somewhere between 1 and 2am, with a lot of feelings...

It’s killing him, every step Mark takes alongside him makes him want to eat himself up. The guilt is so overwhelming and Lee Donghyuck, his love, his sunshine— was his love, was his sunshine, is the last person to deserve this. He looks over to the boy walking next to him, who is seemingly oblivious to the current screaming that is happening inside Mark’s head. 

Having just finished their dinner, they’re now simply strolling around the city. Mark feels absolutely guilty for savouring these last moments with him, since he did truly love him. Loved the relationship they had, loved the time they spent with each other, and loved the memories they had both created. 

Mark even loves this last moment, under the clear night sky, the bustling weekend accompanied by a cute love song that a busker is playing as their background music. It’s so romantic, too similar to all their dates of the past two years of their relationship, the only difference now being that Mark doesn’t love him anymore.

The reality hits him hard, hands shaking, legs shivering, body so stiff and lightweight that the autumnal wind could knock him out at any moment. The voices around him disappear for a second, until his boyfriend shakes him back to reality. 

“You alright there?” Donghyuck asks concerned, “you’ve been out of it since the morning.” He pats off Mark’s cold sweat with the sleeves of his jacket. “Is it cause we watched IT last night?” he jokes, “I told you, you wouldn’t be able to handle it.” With that Mark finally laughs and calms down a bit. 

This is Lee Donghyuck, he tells himself in his head. You guys were best friends before you were boyfriends, you have trusted him with your whole life before giving him his heart. Nothing will change ...won't it?

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Mark finally replies. “Just thinking a lot,” he adds, giving the younger his best reassuring smile. Though he knows Donghyuck is too smart for that, who frowns at the sight and sighs. 

“As much as I want to believe you, Mark Lee, I’m not buying any of that,” he speaks back in a manner almost foreign to him. Until, that is, Mark remembers it’s the tone Donghyuck uses when he accepts defeat. This is almost too predictable.

Mark smiles fondly at his best friend; going-to-be ex-boyfriend, his mind reminds him helpfully.

“I hate that you know me way too well, Hyuckie,” he softly says. 

“Me too, Mark Lee, me too… I am also your best friend,” Donghyuck replies, crossing his arms as if he’s already well prepared for whatever comes next.

“Yes… Best friend…of course,” Mark nods at the phrase. It’s what he thinks describes them best, nothing more and nothing less.

They continue walking in silence, Donghyuck occasionally singing along to the song playing in the stores they pass by. Sometimes Mark joins him and sometimes he doesn't—it’s because most of the time, his brain is trying to formulate the correct words to say. 

At the same time, like he would during any other date, Donghyuck drags him into a store. He comments on the cute trinkets, charms, cactuses and phone cases. He picks up a lion keychain, held it next to Mark’s face. Saying it’s his twin and even taking a picture of it. 

Mark laughs, and does the same to him with a We Bare Bear poster on the wall. “It’s your blood brothers,” he tells Donghyuck. 

They continue to laugh throughout the night and Mark feels so at peace hearing the younger boy at ease, he wishes for time to stop. Relieved he pulls the boy’s pinky finger, eventually clasping his hand and swinging it together. Walking in the streets of Seoul, as they admire the fairy lights, he allows for Donghyuck to pamper him with hugs and kisses, even happily obliges when asked to do the same, more so than usual. 

As time passes by fast, he can sense the other one walking slower and slower. Finally stopping at a nearby supermarket, Donghyuck mentions that he quickly wants to get a soda. Telling him instead he’ll wait outside for him, Mark stares at his back until it gets hidden by the entrance door and he feels bad for feeling like he can finally breathe.

Inhaling fresh air in an attempt to calm his beating heart, it seems to only get faster. He looks up at the crescent moon that is about to disappear into the end of its phase, making Mark wonder if both of them will do the same. 

“Hey loser, here you go,” Donghyuck hands him a soda, “drink up, you look like you’re about to faint.” 

Mark thanks him and pops the can open, taking a sip. 

“Hyuck, you will forever be my friend right?” he asks finally. 

Lee Donghyuck turns his body fully towards him, smiling so brightly that tears start falling down slowly. “No… for now I don’t think so…” he answers, in voice dipped fully in pain.

Mark immediately hugs him, tightly holding him, so desperately hoping to absorb the sadness he gave his friend. 

Eventually the whimpers stop. Donghyuck wipes his own tears away. He tells Mark he still loves him. Even though he’s figured it out for a while, he still continued to have feelings.

It’s Mark turn to start crying. Donghyuck starts to laugh and tells him he’s an idiot, hugging him again. “I still do love you,” Mark chokes out through his sobbing. He buries himself into Donghyuck’s embrace. 

Donghyuck raises his chest and breathes out loudly, “but not in that way anymore...” reading out loud what is in the elder’s mind. 

After having calmed down, Mark refuses to let go of Donghyuck’s hand. They make a promise to try to keep being friends, to keep in touch, but only after their time needed to be apart. To heal, to grow and to learn to be separated.

They both walk agonisingly slow, basking in the transitional autumn night. Where the night is chilly, but not enough to want something to keep them warm. Where people need to get used to the early sunsets. Where the blossoming plants of summer start to grow its orange. Where they both know the reason their walk is so slow, is because they know what will happen when they finally reach their parking spot. In which they will both enter Mark’s car, where they bask in silence for 15 minutes. Where he drops Donghyuck at his own place, instead of his. And where they say ‘goodbye’ and ‘see ya later’ like nothing had happened. 

Where Mark drives off like every other night, except this time he leaves something behind and doesn't look back. That is where their relationship ends its course.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read this mess. Kudos and comments are very much appreciated, but never the less, thank you.
> 
> And as always, thank you Ro for taking the time to keep up with my mess and making it less messy.


End file.
